Looking Back: My Experience in the West Bank
Illustration: Hoda El
Many of us are aware of the continued conflict in Israel and Palestine, even if only vaguely. Views are perhaps shaped more by the media for those of us far away from the situation both geographically and mentally – we are made to believe it is a clash of religions more than a fight over resources, a one-sided moral struggle, but a perpetual disagreement on who is the victim and who is aggressor. This piece isn’t so much about the Palestinian-Israeli Conflict per se – so much has been written by those far more knowledgeable about this than I. Those with their whole beings invested in the conflict and its outcomes, people who have lost and suffered and continue on. I was merely a visitor. This article is about my feelings and experiences in the field against the backdrop of the conflict.
My short stint in the Holy Land was a surreal experience. The reality on the ground was different than expected. The different fractures of Palestinian society gave nuance that wasn’t often discussed in the media. The Palestinians have been forced from their homes and are continually subjected to human rights violations, and we were there to attest to that. What we were expected to do as volunteers was to monitor, mitigate, and record these abuses by Israeli forces and settlers.
Before I left the Philippines, it was remarked by the local organisation which sent me that these sorts of well meaning efforts by NGOs to monitor human rights abuses of Palestinians do more to normalize the fraught situation faced by Palestinians – making sure the pot does not boil over, but is left on a perpetual simmer. I was also warned that what I will find most difficult, is working with Western nationals who will always believe they know better. I figured this is cynicism of third worlders who have had their share of well meaning but useless endeavors and activities established by well-off foreigners with little to no understanding of the local culture or origin of various conflicts. The program offering to mitigate the situation on the ground in so far that nothing too egregious happens. A seemingly in-built futility.
Again, the task at hand was to monitor human rights abuses and gain insight into the Israel-Palestine Conflict – having seen things firsthand, we would then be able to advocate against these abuses and push for more accountability of the state of Israel. I arrived with a group of internationals from both the Global North and the Global South. Divisions appeared along those lines, those from former colonized lands seemed more at ease with the situations they found themselves in and the Palestinian culture in which we had to maneuver, whereas those coming from Western Europe were not as richly inured to histories of subjugation and marginalization and overtly corrupt bureaucracies. I would say for the most part those from the Global South seemed to stand more in solidarity with the Palestinians whereas those from Western countries seemed set on affecting change through saviorism – though there were exceptions.
Looking back though at the initial tensions that I experienced which seemed far more immense at the time given the unfamiliar environment, clashing social mores, stress, and lack of sleep – there were underlying ideological factors that split the presumably well-meaning visitors that sought to help. With many of these overseas aid experiences the interactions impact the over excited visitor more than the locals. Some people gave greater importance to their feelings about the situation wanting to relay that over Palestinian stories – the plight of these people merely a backdrop for their emotional exploration. During a meeting one volunteer asked how they could elucidate their feelings about the situation to which the director replied, “This isn’t about you.” Cultural expectations and peculiarities are made to be more meaningful than they are intended to be. This is especially true of people looking for an exotic experience where the wish to imbed oneself in this new culture borders on minstrelsy– some sort of Lawrence of Arabia shtick.
Those from the colonized parts of the world had a leg up in understanding the Palestinian communities they found themselves in, often finding commonalities in repressive social norms. This ease in operating did seem to cause some tension in my case where I, with my piss poor Arabic, knowledge of Muslim cultures, and being brown gained acceptance more readily than at least one hostile individual would’ve liked. So very often it seemed that some of the Westerners tried to force friendships with the locals or confused hospitality for genuine feeling – those from the third world understood more readily that polite expectations do not mean anything beyond that. Because of these different cultural frameworks and ideologies, every individual came to understand their interactions with the Palestinians they spoke with differently. However, those coming from wealthy Western countries had the benefit of being viewed as more politically valuable due to the belief they could use their experiences to affect policy in their home countries.
Most arrived with fully formed ideas about the conflict and where their sympathies should lie in line with the stated goals of the organization. For people who were to operate in a land full of Muslims and Jews though, there was an awful lot of ignorance about both groups. Comments about Muslims were patronisingly racist and comments on Jews bordered on anti-Semitic. The idea that an outsider could manage the goal of aiding peace while disdaining the very people affected is disgustingly colonial.
With the resources afforded to me I can say I was well taken care of during my stay and did not experience the hardships of some of the Palestinians I spoke with. I would go out and meet people who did not have clean drinking water and come back to my temporary home and have bottles of it. It’s like discussing famine with the starving while on a full stomach. (It kinda makes you feel like a privileged asshole).
Day to day dealt with meeting various people and learning about their lives under occupation. I met people who told me heart wrenching stories, young people who were apathetic about it all, and a few straight up charlatans. There were meetings with other organizations such as the Red Cross and the UN – meetings that never felt quite fruitful besides in amassing new papers –info sheets and maps, mostly. There were a few excursions into “Israel Proper,” which included a visit to the Holocaust Museum in Jerusalem.
Regarding those meetings with other organizations, quite often I would head to a meeting and find a foreigner, usually from a Western nation who had just arrived in the West Bank, but would be the “knowledgeable” resource person I was supposed to look for to gain insight into the current situation. I sat with one expert lauded by a previous team for her knowledge on local communities only to be told by those in said local communities that she barely interacted with them and kept a ‘healthy’ distance when it came to village visits. Yet these “gatekeepers” are deemed better resource persons than the people they supposedly represent. A Westerner there to feed information to (generally) other Westerners so they may understand and work more efficiently without having to deal with the bothersome cultural intricacies or locals first hand.
The Israelis I interacted with for the most part tended to be soldiers and there were a few lectures by liberal kibbutz types thrown in to further inform us about Israel and its culture. This did not offer a broad view of Israeli society and its complexities lending to a rather singular understanding of Israelis. Not everyone agreed with my opinion that it was worth knowing more about Israeli Jews and their society. Many were devoted to the Palestinian cause and did not see the value in further interactions with Israelis given what they had experienced in the field, which was understandable.
The main goal was to see the conflict first hand, to understand how it affects people’s lives, and let others know what we’ve seen and experienced. I saw, I learned, I felt a great many things (like tear gas in the face) meeting both Palestinians and Israelis and because of those interactions I came away with a broader narrative than intended. I came back questioning the benefit of spending time and resources on foreigners to filter stories of trauma secondhand. I met people so invested in Palestinian rights, but not incredibly interested in their own country’s human rights abuses or colonial history. I met overly confident people who believed they had insights into how to create a sustaining peace without bothering to understand the local inhabitants. Palestine is saturated with would be do-gooders, who may not be doing all that much good and the conflict continues.