★ H I L L A R Y ★ M C T R U M P E T E R ★

We decided to celebrate the one candidate who we know for sure to be America's next president: Hillary McTrumpeter! The New York millionaire white ally who was always the only actual candidate.
McTrumpeter’s has a love/hate relationship with minorities. S/he says they always had a good relationship with The Blacks(™), but s/he also considers them super-predators that need to be brought to heel. Whether or not s/he actually wants a total and complete lockdown on Muslims entering America isn't a big deal, because s/he’'ll be sure to bomb the hell out of them ‘over there’ anyway, be it in the name of fighting terrorism, be it the name of protecting democracy.
When it comes to the women, s/he is their best friend, and no-one in the world could love and respect them more. If love means assaulting women, be it physically, be it through character assassination, then yes, the feminist candidate has won! Not only is Hillary McTrumpeter a woman’s best friend, s/he is also the best friend of the American people: in fact, nothing could be more American than not paying taxes, setting up a charity for poor countries to use it for political favors, and a 100% USA physique of bleached hair and botox.

We can rest assured that the least (and simultaneously most) pro-Zionist, pro-guns, pro-corporations of the candidates is now president. Congratulations, USA!